Shazak Parsha Post – Parshas Pinchas
For a lot more Parsha fun, including a weekly fun video, subscribe to Shazak!
Vigilante Rewarded
As reported in last week’s Parsha Post, Pinchas ben Elazar took matters into his own hands when he killed the prince and princess of Moav.
“Pinchas is a vigilante… A private citizen who took matters into his own hands!” commented the highly opinionated Mrs. Kopdrayer Kritisizer. “He is an absolute disgrace to his family. Whoever heard of a fine Jewish man committing such a terrible act of violence?!”
Fellow citizen Mr. Anav Me’od had a different take on the matter: “In my humble opinion, Pinchas is a great hero, for he acted when everyone else froze with fear. Can’t you see that thanks to his actions, the terrible plague suddenly ended?! It’s a sign from Above that he has done the right thing!”
This week, the Heavenly announcement has been declared: Pinchas would be elevated into the priestly clan. What an honor!
Historic Inheritance Declared
In an unlikely twist of events, a group of five determined sisters changed the laws of Jewish inheritance forever. Their late father, Tzlafchad, passed away before receiving a portion in the Land of Israel, and the land-loving daughters were fearful that they would end up without inheriting property in the Holy Land. The case made its way to the Heavenly Court, where the Chief Justice, a.k.a. HaShem, a.k.a. Supreme Owner of the World, ruled that they would indeed receive their father’s inheritance.
“We all love Eretz Yisrael so much, and are extremely pleased by the decision,” said Tirtzah, one of the five named plaintiffs in the case. “We are so grateful that HaShem ruled in our favor. Abba would have been so proud (sniff).”
Beloved Student Chosen to Lead
Yehoshua bin Nun, longtime student and assistant to Moshe, has been granted Semichah, rabbinic ordination. In a moving ceremony attended by Elazar the High Priest and other dignitaries, Moshe placed his hands upon the head of his student and expressed his confidence in Yehoshua’s wisdom, leadership skills, and Torah scholarship.
“It was a very touching moment,” reported TNS reporter, Shazak Shazakovitch. “Although Moshe wanted with all his heart to be the one to lead his flock into the Holy Land, he showed everyone that Yehoshua had his full support in leading Bnei Yisrael into the Promised Land.”
According to witnesses, Rabbi Yehoshua’s face glowed like the moon, reflecting the great glory of his teacher.
Circa 1538:
Tzfat and Jerusalem Rabbis Wrangle over Rabbinics
Esteemed scholar Rabbi Yaakov Beirav, a Spanish refugee living in the city of Tzfat, has led a daring new initiative to revive the age-old, authentic Semichah Rabbinical ordination, as handed down from Moshe Rabbeinu. At Rabbi Beirav’s request, many learned Rabbis from the Tsfat region proclaimed him as their “Chief Rabbi ”. In return, he performed the ceremonial Semichah by laying his hands upon the heads of several noted scholars, thus granting them the official title, “Rebbi.” This Semichah would allow them to once again set up a Sanhedrin, similar to the grand court of law which was in place during the times of the Beis HaMikdash.
TNS Jerusalem reporter Yerucham Yerushalmi reports: “This bold move was based on the ruling of the Rambam’s opinion in his Mishneh Torah Book. However, the future of this Semichah is unknown, due to the vehement opposition of Rabbi Levi ibn Chaviv, Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem, a.k.a. the Ralbach. He believes that this Tzfat-Semichah-Ceremony is disrespectful to Jerusalem, the eternal capital of the Jewish world.
Ads
Land Lovers Lawyers
Need help with your real-estate issues?
Call Tzlafchad & Tzlafchad & Tzlafchad & Tzlafchad & Tzlafchad
Attorneys at Law We specialize in inheritance, marriage, and complicated family affairs.
Call Now: 1-800-LUV-LAND
To Download Pinchas: Click Here
